Soup with a side of finger

For Christmas (or more accurately Blacky-mas, a pre-Christmas celebration on Friday 13th named after the other half who is referred to as Uncle Blacky to our nieces), my fantastic family all pitched in to give me a stick blender.  There have been multitudes of recipes that left me (*cough*steve*cough*) sitting there with a fork turning all sorts of fruits and vegetables into a puree.  Ever tried mashing carrot with a fork? Not easy, let me tell you.

You can imagine my delight when I returned home blender in hand.  The first thing I made was a soup. That is after all one of the key points of a stick blender – no transferring the chunky soup to a blender in batches and into yet another bowl when done. Just pop the stick into the pot and off you go.

Now I was being very cautious with my new blending device as I prepared to make my soup.  When the Uncle of Black first touched the blade he realised it was incredibly sharp, worse than your standard knife – be careful – he warned with at least 3 minor cuts on his hand from unpacking it.  This is not surprising as he is the person whose hand I had to heavily bandage after he cut it by, and I quote, “testing if a knife was sharp”.

What he didn’t warn me about was that a parmesan cheese packet (the cheese was going into the soup) is made out of super plastic. I don’t know why its different to any other cheese – a whole lot of pissed off parmesan cheese packagers? Who knows. I’m not sure if anyone else has ever tried opening a super plastic packet with a knife but you need to hold it with one hand, push the knife really hard with the other, and then when it finally gives – push the knife through the tip of your finger leaving only a tiny little point where the skin is still attached.  When you’re done, it should look like this. When you’ve mastered it, you won’t even bleed in dinner. I’m practically an expert.

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Now, once you’ve finished crying not from the pain (because it really doesn’t hurt) but from the fact you could be missing a finger for the rest of your life, use paper towel to put pressure on it, finish cooking dinner, eat dinner then tend to the wound.  You will note that under no circumstances, will the bleeding stop. To ensure you are undertaking the correct treatment, a 10 minute walk to the local emergency room will result in the nurse dressing your hand, giving you care instructions, throwing some free dressings your way and sending you out the door all while laughing with you at the crazy bastards wandering around the public emergency.

Three days later, dressing removed, you get a good finger of dried blood which will take you 10 minutes with a cotton blood to clean up to ensure you don’t accidentally wash your finger tip off. The result is magical.  A chunk of skin which has grown back onto your finger minus those critical nerves that give you feeling AND if you have a knee jerk reaction to catch something falling – no time to remember your still healing finger – you will suddenly find those missing nerves in what can only be described as the feeling of your finger popping like a grape.  No bleeding though, so no harm done.

2013-12-25 17.09.15    2013-12-25 17.15.20

I have now emotionally recovered from that soup episode and decided to tackle another one today. One without parmesan.  HOLY CRAP BALLS. I’m practically a chef. A quick google of “how to get rid of ingredients in your fridge” and ta-daa I have an idea.  What is even better is that this recipe required no effort, limited time and only one pot and one stick blender.  I think the dish monkey appreciates this given I can normally empty the contents of our kitchen equipment into the sink when making even the simplest of meals.  So here goes:

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116 Calorie Thick Vege Soup

Serves 2

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  • 400g pumpkin in 1 cm cubes
  • 1.5 large celery sticks chopped
  • 1.5 large carrots chopped
  • 0.5 red capsicum chopped
  • 0.5 brown onion chopped
  • 1/2 tsp mustard powder
  • 1/2 tsp curry powder
  • 3.5 cups chicken stock (will vary with size of pot/veges)
  • If desired bread/toast or a dollop of sour cream would be lovely with this soup although is not necessary
  1. Put all ingredients in a pot with enough stock to cover the veges
  2. Bring to the boil then simmer for 75 minutes.  Bring to a gentle boil for an additional 15 minutes to rid any excess liquid
  3. Use stick blender to puree to desired consistency
  4. Serve in a bowl, use a spoon and eat it with your mouth!
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